How To Stop Fighting In A Relationship
Arguments and fights are a plague to what could otherwise be a healthy relationship.
Here I present 7 ways to stop petty fights from occurring in your relationships.
1.Exercise Effective Communication
3.Discover the Root of the Problem
4.Take Part-Responsibility-Don't Blame Others
5.Stop Bringing up the Past
6.Tackle One Problem at a Time
7.Come Up with Solutions
“Communication is the most important component of any relationship.”
1 Exercise Effective Communication
People fight a lot in their relationships because they have still yet to learn how to effectively communicate their thoughts and feelings.
There are only two occasions whereby screaming at the top of your lungs is necessary:
- When your sports team is doing extremely well; or extremely badly.
- When you’re looking for someone.
I honestly believe shouting is the worst form of human communication ever conceived.
Shouting has absolutely no effective communicative benefits what so ever; so why do it? Aside from it being the worst form of vocal communication, it is also the worst way to drive a point home.
Exercise Active Listening
I never thought that the ability to listen whilst one person talks would prove too difficult for some. The moment two people engage in verbal bile is the time to call it a day.
Be the bigger person and let the other person talk, whilst you listen.
The moment you both stop interrupting each other, the faster you will solve the problem at hand.
photo by Andrik Langfield/ Unsplash
2 Stop Argumexting
Everyone should know by now that texting is a poor way to communicate with one another. I have to give it props for its ability to send a quick message – but its not the best medium for lengthy, important conversations.
To be more precise, texting can be interpreted in an infinite amount of ways – this inevitably leads to argumexting.
Texting, e-mailing and social networks are by far the most unhealthy forms of communication to use with your partner, because humor and sarcasm are a few of the many emotions that are interpreted differently.
Unless you’re in a long distance relationship – keep things face-to-face?
3 Discover the Root of the Problem
Most relationship fights I’ve witnessed occurred due to straight personality clashes – I always wonder why are these two people together.
Usually it is a case of money problems.
For they are by far the biggest cause of relationship and marriage disputes; unfortunately either someone is spending too much, or someone isn’t coming clean about his/her troublesome situation.
4 Take Part-Responsibility-Don't Blame Others
The key to stop fighting in a relationship is to simply take part of the blame for why the situation has arisen.
It usually takes two people to cause an argument; regardless of who started it – the fundamental reason an argument starts is because one person didn’t like what the other party said.
Which brings me to my next point.
Don’t Rise To Accusations
It’s an important component of effective communication – as I said above, even if the person is spitting out lies; don’t rise to it. Stay calm and collected, break their points down through facts only – not with heightened emotions.
Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
5 Stop Bringing up the Past
Can anybody tell me the benefit of listing out past events chronologically, that have nothing to do with the present issue? How can you solve today’s problems when you’re looking at an unresolved problem from years ago?
Ask yourself this; are we going to talk about today’s issue or an issue from a long time ago?
Talking about your partner behind his/her back, breaks one of the three core values that EVERY relationship requires to survive.
It’s a complete lack of respect to yourself, your friends and your partner to negatively gossip about them behind their back – that says more about you, than it does about them.
As I’m sure you know; small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.
Focus on how you can improve things; ask yourself clearly: Does this relationship have a future?
6 Tackle One Problem at a Time
So let’s talk about ideas then shall we?
Scheduling specific days with your partner that you use to discuss issues, is a powerful way for stopping arguments in your relationship.
If both parties have an open mind whilst following the previous steps, you will find that your relationship will be much more healthier.
The worst thing that can happen to someone is being brought into an argument just as they’re heading out the door to work.
Trying to force a ‘discussion’ with your partner in this way, is probably the worst thing you could do to someone’s morning.
There is a time and place for everything.
7 Come Up with Solutions
This step is famous, yet it is something I am certain 95% if not more, refuse to do.
People are good at talking, I am too – but are we good at sitting down to come up with a solution that is supposed to solve the problem we are talking about?
If you’ve been discussing your issues with each other – great. But where has that left you? Have you made any solutions, or were you both just trying to 1-up one another?
The entire concept of a problem, insinuates there is something of great concern that must be resolved. And presents a healthy opportunity for all parties to grow. Here is where great minds must come along and discuss ideas, namely to dissolve the issues once and for all.
Bonus: Plan your discussions. Find Solutions. Take Action.
What If The Above Doesn’t Work?
Get out and run.
Run as fast and as far away from the individual as you possible can.
Simply put, a healthy relationship cannot function what so ever, if you can’t communicate in harmony.
Life is too short for arguing and fighting; plain and simple. If you want to enjoy and share yourself with other people, then find someone who is willing to do the same.