I personally used to have a lot of trouble with this, and it was only recently that I realised where I was going wrong.
I had a tendency to care about the wrong things at the wrong time.
I was a people pleaser who cared about the opinions of random people, and worse yet I always used to invest far more emotional, physical and spiritual energy in others than they would do for me.
However let’s be honest, I was a bird in a cage – possessed great potential but lacked the courage to fly out into the wilderness on my own.
Luckily I changed this, and my life has been better ever since.
Everyone Is Their Own Niche
The quest towards becoming an individual and achieving true happiness doesn’t lie in being different for the sake of being different.
It’s not about despising everything popular, and titling yourself as a non-conformist.
The goal lies in asking yourself whether a specific belief you have is pushing you towards reaching your genetic potential and beyond, or is holding you back due to societal expectations amongst other things.
Everyone is their own niche, but not everyone is living in it adamantly.
No two people are the same.
We all have different interests, goals, dreams and expectations so I believe we should live our lives in the fashion that is going to lead us towards those things.
That’s what true niche creation is. There will always be some overlapping attributes between two people, but this exists so we can relate to eachother on a more personal level.
The Benefits of Creating Your Own Niche
You attract people you never knew existed
This applies to our friendships especially. Think back to all those times you had to make boundless amounts of effort to remain in contact and keep your friendships alive.
Through creating your own niche, the reverse occurs. People start gravitation to you.
Why is this the case you mas ask?
Simple. You’ve taken it upon yourself to set standards and values – which you also abide by.
In our friendship example, you believe in the trinity of trust, honesty and respect and won’t bother with a relationship that is not of that nature.
What you’re consciously or unconsciously doing is creating a filter that people who aim to use you will fall through. Behaving akin to that of a semi-permeable cell membrane that refuses to let energy vampires into the contents of your very own cell – your very own life!
Remove the external pressures to succeed
I’m referring to the external pressures we receive from our parents and guardians.
When you create your own niche, you would have taken it upon yourself to define what success truly means to you.
Contrary to popular belief, many people feel unhappy and depressed in modern western society. This isn’t entirely due to the increase in competition within every industry, sport and field of discipline, but rather because of what that competition’s reward represents.
There is an overbearing, undying pressure for young people to “succeed”. My pet peeve with this is due to how success is only discussed in monetary terms.
Big house, cars, trophies, money, grades, job title etc – these are all big indicators of status.
Creating your own niche removes all these pressures as you define what success means to you, and you’ll feel even more relaxed if your definition doesn’t seek to destroy you, but rather aims to make you become a better and more accomplished person.
Here’s an example…
My idea of success used to change depending on the context. To become the best, to have a pretty girlfriend, to acquire huge sums of money and to get the best grades. This is what success used to mean to me.
On their own they may look harmless, however if you delve deeper and analyse them on a situational basis, they’re pretty damaging.
Once I created my own niche, the definition became.
“To achieve whatever it is I wish, without interfering with the rights of others.”
- I no longer wanted to become the best, but rather to become my best self.
- I no longer wanted a pretty girlfriend, but someone who understands me and someone who adds and complements to what I bring in a relationship.
- I no longer wanted huge sums of money, I wanted to use what I have to accomplish and solve real problems
- and lastly, I no longer wanted the best grades, but I want a solid education.
Like I said before hand, there are many benefits for creating your very own niche (I only highlighted two), however once you do, your perspective on life will change forever, your priorities will change, and so will the rest of your environment.